Who’s with me on this?
Last week’s #1 Douche award went to my old landlord and Dick Cheney lookalike Larry. So Dubya won the first week and a Cheney clone won the next. I see a pattern. Anyhoo, here’s week three’s nominees…
A) Sean Combs, whose explains away the thuggish name of his crappy group Diddy-Dirty Money by saying, “Dirty Money is not about no drug money, illegal money, or anything negative. Dirty Money is a look, a sound, a movement, and a crew.” (Nice grammar.)
B) Glenn Beck, whose well-documented comments about Holocaust survivor George Soros were so incendiary that he even pissed off some Conservatives, as well as lapsed Jews such as myself.
C) The entire Dallas Cowboys roster, who acted like lazy, disinterested Pop Warner Leaguers until owner Jerry Jones fired their admittedly crappy coach Wade Phillips, and replaced him with the seemingly cool Jason Garrett, at which point they started putting forth an effort.
D) My across-the-alley neighbor, who lets her loud-ass dogs out into her backyard at 6:00 AM, and leaves them out for hours at a time, regardless of the weather. If I were treated that badly, I’d bark all day too.
Click here to join the Alan Goldsher Douche of the Week Facebook club.
PS - This is my 500th post! Such a milestone…
1) Long, hot baths.
2) Hub 51’s chicken nachos.
3) A Kindle filled with unread books.
Eat some turkey brains for me, me pretties!
For a sneak preview, click here to visit the GIVE DEATH A CHANCE blog.
John did not turn Yoko. He loved her as she was…just like in real life.
Unfortunately it was only published in hardcover. The Miles Davis book will be paperback only, so there’s that…
It’ll be called MILES DAVIS FAQ, and my old pals at Hal Leonard are doing me the honor of publishing it. (Hardcore Goldsher fans will recall that they pubbed my Art Blakey bio back in 2002.) It’ll be filled with random facts, fun opinions, gobs of pictures, and will hit the stores in 2012 or 2013.
So psyched to be writing a Miles book…
Just got my 1500th follower. I love each and every one of you. (Except you over there. No, not you. You. Yeah, you. You know who you are, and you know why.)
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
“PAUL IS UNDEAD” AUTHOR BLOODIES VON TRAPP FAMILY
Alan Goldsher Mashes The Sound of Music with Vampires in My Favorite Fangs
November 16, 2010
Alan Goldsher, author of the critically acclaimed Beatles/horror/comedy novel Paul Is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion, is going to once again blend a pop culture touchstone with a paranormal entity in My Favorite Fangs, a retelling of The Sound of Music in which the von Trapp family are vampires (except, of course, for Liesl, who is the clan’s mortal guide), and Julie Andrews is an ass-kicking destroyer of the undead.
Thomas Dunne/St. Martin’s Press will publish My Favorite Fangs in late 2011 or early 2012.
Goldsher says, “The conceit here is that the real life von Trapps want to put an end to the filming of The Sound of Music, because they don’t care for how they’re being portrayed. My Favorite Fangs will be filled with bumbling Nazis, and teenagers knockin’ boots, and catsuit-wearing movie stars, and if that doesn’t say ‘family fun,’ I don’t know what does.”
One of the book world’s surprise successes of 2011, Paul Is Undead was hailed as “Bloody brilliant” by Parade magazine, and received a starred review from Publishers Weekly. “My goal with this new project is to build on my mash-up empire,” Goldsher says. “Okay, I don’t have a mash-up empire, per se, but I figure if I amp up the body count with this book, it’s only a matter of time.”
For more information about Alan, please visit http://www.AlanGoldsher.com
Movable Type Literary Group
Wait, don’t answer that.