September 2010
62 posts
Meet the Zombie Beatles
WNYC, New York Public Radio
Here’s me yammering on WNYC’s Soundcheck about Paul Is Undead, the Beatles, zombies, and all kinds of other good shit.
“I brushed some stray blusher from Paul’s shirt, then said, ‘I don’t know, maybe your magical zombie radars picked up some sort of vibration coming from California that told you Justin Timberlake is a supergenius supervillian who thinks he can stop you from taking over the United States, and he telepathically summoned you to the show in hopes that he can battle you to the death, or the undeath, or whatever the hell kind of climax it is that zombies and supergenius supervillians battle to.’”
—Poppermost Over America, the sequel to Paul Is Undead
Who has two thumbs and is going to see Ricky Gervais do stand-up tonight?
“Do you know how hard it is to keep a stinking, rotting zombie from being recognized as a stinking, rotting zombie? Do you know the best way to cover up undead stank? Do you know what kind of make-up best hides oozing facial craters? Do you know what zombie breath smells like from two inches away? Of course you don’t. Because you’ve never had to disguise two undead dudes. But — color me lucky — I have, thus I know the answers to those unanswerable questions…which, by the way, are: Very, Febreze Pet Odor Eliminator, Chanel Pro Lumiere Correcteur Professional Finish Concealer, and toe jam.”
—Poppermost Over America, the sequel to Paul Is Undead
If you haven't done so, and you're so inclined, please click here, go to Amazon.com, and give "PAUL IS UNDEAD" a quick review. Thanks!!! →
amazon.com
Feel free to reblog this to death. Or undeath, I suppose.
“
‘So my guess is that somehow an 808 kick, when played through a…’ Here, I took a quick peek at the van’s speakers, then continued, ‘…Pioneer TSW303R, has an ill-effect on the undead physiognomy to the point that, um, to the point that, um, to the point that, um…’
John saved me: ‘To the point that our ears exploded. Scribe, you aren’t as daft as you look.’
” —Poppermost Over America, the sequel to Paul Is UndeadI'm retiring from writing to pursue a rap career.
“
Paul’s nose is buried in the road atlas, and John and George are screwing their weenies back on, and Ringo’s in the back, playing Sudoku, and I’m futzing with the radio, and I happen across KPRZ, 103.3, Hot 103 Jamz, Kansas City’s number one station for hip-hop and R&B, the biiiiiiiig station. Now I’m always up for some hot jamz, so I leave it there, and on comes Lil Wayne’s magnum opus “Lollipop.” The reception on our little dirt road blows, and I’m tired of going up and down the dial, so I let it sit, even though “Lollipop” blows.
Two bars in, Lennon, McCartney, and Harrison’s ears fell off.
” —Poppermost Over America, the sequel to Paul Is UndeadI just wanted to state that I simply loved your book and I just finished reading yesterday. Me being a Beatles fan, I just wanted to thank you because It made me laugh like a maniac and have people stare at me in the train like if I was crazy. Probably the best part was at the end when they had their little concert and that made me want that to become a reality. that was the best ending that the book would ever had and I simply loved it. although the Fab four would never be again I would like to thank you because they would always be remembered and your book is another way to have a good memory although they eat brains but whatever, I'll still love them
" have a good Fookin day"
thank you Alan. :)
So so so so nice of you to say. Made my night!
What was the very first book you ever read? and how was it? and how did it make you feel afterwards?
I can’t remember the very first book I read, but I remember The Catcher in the Rye was the first “grown up” book I took a gander at, and it make me feel, um, confused.
“Every time we end up lost — which happens, like, twice a day — I offer to buy them a GPS, to which Paul will inevitably say, ‘My sense of direction is impeccable, y’know,’ to which John and George will inevitably pull off their plonkers, wave them in Macca’s face, and say in unison, ‘Which direction is this then, Paulie?’”
—Poppermost Over America, the sequel to Paul Is Undead
Today's Beatles poll
It’s my birthday! So which Beatles song should I listen to, and why?
