August 2011
77 posts
Not that anybody cares, but I just scarfed down...
If you’re really nice, I’ll save you one.
If you're at the McCartney concert at Wrigley...
I’m like two miles away, and I should be able to hear the show through my window without any problem.
July 2011
87 posts
Is it just me, or does it seem like every Tumblr...
Cheer up, people. And go see a different movie. Yeesh.
7 tags
Don't forget about my big fancy Chicago Comic Con...
Will I see you there?
Ouch.
Dear Tetanus Shot That Made My Arm Feel Like Somebody Hit it With a Rock,
Blow me.
Love,
Alan
P.S. - Notice I signed off with “love.” Which means that when I step on a rusty nail, you’d better bring the funk.
Why Facebook is awesome, reason #64: I'm friends...
And Bootsy’s latest status update is, “Just had a man to man talk with my son Ouiwey! It was good y’all, sometimes we need to take time to talk one on one with the young one’s that’s trying so hard in a world designed to eat them alive, if they sleep walkin’!” Couldn’t have said it better myself.
How do you practice for the X Games?
I mean, who the fuck has a 70-foot-high ramp in their backyard?
I'll be shocked if Tom Brady makes it through the...
Which begs the question, is “bitchslap” one word, or two?
Throatwarbler Mangrove.
Big news, kids: I'll be collaborating with...
One Funny Jew + One Funny Jew = One Funny Book.
Wait, "Franklin & Bash" got renewed, but "Men of a...
There's a Journey bio coming out next month. A...
4 tags
Mad cool "Midnight Movie" review →
Here’s a link to a super-well-thought-out review of my and Tobe Hooper’s novel “Midnight Movie.”
Spotify is like a crack dealer. "You can have 10...
I birthed a Texan.
1 tag
Notice how you never hear about a hardcore liberal...
How is it that Amy Winehouse died at 27, but Pete...
No disrespect to the recently departed, and no disrespect to the living. It’s just…weird.
Just watched the Tribe Called Quest documentary.
Good stuff, but all that inter-band squabbling gave me a stomachache, and again made me happy that I traded in music for writing. I mean, my laptop never gets wasted and blows off rehearsal.
Just got a review copy of the second 700-page John...
Phew.
Finished season two of "Dexter." Oh, Lila, you...
Ladies, last night I wore a pair of shoes that...
Big book announcement in the next few days. Stay...
1 tag
In your opinion, which of these sentences is...
1) It’s balls hot in Chicago.
2) In Chicago, it’s as hot as balls.
8 tags
Click here to join the "My Favorite Fangs"... →
…or else Vampire Maria von Trapp will come to your house and rip out your thorax.
Apple sold 9.25 million iPads last quarter.
Am I the only guy out here who thinks the thing is a redundant timesucker? If you have a computer, an e-reader, an iPod, and a cellphone — which, let’s be honest, you probably do — what’s the point?
Spotify = jazz dork Nirvana = me blowing...
1 tag
I've said it before, and I'll probably say it...
The people who you want to see participate in Topless Tuesday never do.
And vice versa.
@p4perschemes - Hmm, intriguing. Very intriguing, indeed.
9 tags
“It’s mid-afternoon, and we’re parked in the lot of the Verizon Wireless...”
– Give Death a Chance, available 10/31
Verrrrrry interesting phone meeting later today...
Send positive vibes to Chicago and New York.
Attn: Fellow jazz dorks...
The second great album of the year is on the streets: Gary Burton’s “Common Ground.” (The first one was Joshua Redman’s James Farm project.) When you check it out, pay extra close attention to Antonio Sanchez, who is one sick, sick drummer.
"Men of a Certain Age" got cancelled. Fuck.
Screw it, I've got bills to day, so I'm gonna...
Working title: “Farty-Butt: The Pooch That Brought Together an Entire Town.” Or maybe “Mandy McGoo: The Crazy Canine Who Saved Firehouse 57.” Or maybe “Fido the Fifth: A Dog, a Master, a Dream.” Or maybe “Tinkles: The Real Story of a Real Dog who Rebuilt My Marriage, My Bank Account, and My Life.” Or maybe “Bowzie Wowzie: Showing Me How to be a...
1 tag
I did it all for the Nook.
Name Alan's fantasy team!
Now that the NFL season looks like it’s gonna happen, I need a new name for my fantasy football team. Last year, I started out as the Bungalow Bills, but when I got off to a crappy start, I changed it to Eleanor Rugby, and finished second. Suggestions, anyone?
Shaq's joining "Inside the NBA" team. The Big...
Wait, what’s this about a lockout?
We begin in mountain pose.
Nerdy poll question of the day:
How many of you have books that you read over and over and over again? If so, what are they?
Click here to check out the full schedule of... →
An interesting Chicago phenomenon
The Boystown section of the city is loaded with hot women. Go figure.
